Sunday, April 25, 2010

Dating Tips - How To Get Back With Your Ex

If you're reading this, you're probably in the middle of an unwanted breakup. You've been struggling for reasons why your ex broke things off, and maybe you've tried various things to get your ex back. If nothing has worked, you might even be getting a little desperate. All of these things are okay, because I'm going to help you out.

Losing someone you love can be a crushing, overwhelming thing. Left unchecked, the emotions you feel when someone breaks up with you can put even the strongest person into a spiral of depression. As you feel your boyfriend or girlfriend slipping away, you'll unknowingly make big mistakes along the path to getting them back. Make enough of them, and it becomes nearly impossible to get this person to fall back in love with you.

In learning how to get back with your ex, the first thing you must do is calm down. Realize immediately that your ex isn't going anywhere... just because he or she dumped you doesn't mean they're looking to jump right into a new relationship with someone else. Right now, minutes seem like hours and hours seem like days. SLOW DOWN and try to recognize that your breakup isn't permanent just yet. Many times, you can easily reverse a break up just by remaining cool and detached from the situation.

You see, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend expects a certain behavior after they dump you: resistance. They actually expect you to fight for the relationship, and to try and convince them not to break things off. The more you fall into their predetermined expectations right now, the more it justifies their decision to break up with you. Whenever you start chasing after your ex, your ex is always going to run in the opposite direction.

People have the need to be loved. Your ex is no exception. After breaking up with you, your boyfriend or girlfriend sat around waiting to see just how hard it would impact you. The harder you took it, the more desired they felt. Trying to get back with your ex, especially if you've exhibited needy or desperate behavior, can often be the exact reason why they don't want you in the first place. After all, you can't be all that great a catch if you're falling to pieces and tearfully chasing after someone. When your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend sees this, they begin to think they can do better. So what should you do to win your ex back? What methods DO work, and how should you execute them?

Well first of all, you'll need to display an immediate sense of withdrawal. This withdrawal must be total, or it will not work. This means you can't call your ex, email them, text-message them, or show up anywhere you expect them to be. The further removed you become, the more your ex will wonder where you went. The longer you've gone without contacting your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, the quicker your ex will actually miss you.

Staying out of your ex's life creates a big void where you used to be. If you fill that void with phone calls and contact, your ex has no need or incentive to want you back. He or she will blow you off, and even see you as desperate for trying to keep in touch with them. Create that void however, and your ex must suddenly deal with the possibility of losing you for good... especially if you've broken all contact and they have no clue who you've been hanging out with or what you've been doing.

Left completely alone, your ex will always assume the worst. To them, the worst possible scenario is hearing that you've moved on without them. This shatters their confidence, and makes them question their decision to end the relationship. You need to accomplish the goal of planting this feeling in your ex boyfriend or girlfriend's mind, before you can start working toward getting them back.

So how do you contact your ex when you want them back? What are the best methods for getting back in touch? Learning the best reconnection techniques can really accelerate the process of reversing your breakup. By establishing a step by step plan on how to get back with your ex, you can move past the no contact stage and begin rebuilding your relationship.

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